Going through a bad Flare up and I want to give up!

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I am 33 years old and I have had fibro for 3 years. I only got properly diagnosed earlier this year. 

Iv had good times and Iv had really bad times. I am having a really bad flare up and I seriously just want to give up.  I cried to my husband for an hour the other night because he was giving me a hard time for not having sex with him in two weeks. 

I understand his frustration because I'm frustrated. I'm just so sore all over even a hug is sore. I tried to get him to watch a YouTube video the other night about a women that has fibro and how crippling it is. I cried and cried and told him he doesn't understand me. Although he said he understands and the fact I was so upset about he knew it wasn't put on just to get out of sex. 

I know he doesn't understand he just thinks he does. It's getting to the stage where I'm getting sick of listening to my own voice complaining.

What am I going to do? Lucky I'm on 1 week of annual leave in work. I work as a social care worker in residential with young girls with mental health issues! They have very challenging behaviour. It is a very stressful job specially for my anxiety because these girls can be dangerous.  

My husband suggested for me to work part time. I just think if I drop to part time I will go mad at home and also I'll let this illness win because I will definitely give up. 

I have an interview for another residential job that hasn't got the extreme challenging dangerous behaviour this Monday. It's closer to home too so that might be good. 

I have worked so hard to get where I am today, we own a nice house, just got married, bought a nice car and my son just started secondary school. Sounds perfect right?? Eh no because I have this stupid illness that could make me lose everything I have worked so hard to get. 

I'm really at my wits end. If anyone could tell me what meds they are on that help them?? 

I am on Lxprim 2, 4 times a day, amitriptyline 50mg per night, Versatis patches ( so hard to pin point pain, so kinda useless)

I take xanax 2.5mg as required. When I'm working I would probably take 3-4 when I'm not I could take 1 if I have to go shopping or visit family. And maybe 1 to help me sleep. 

I'm starting to become an addict on the xanax but I can't help it. It's the only tablet that actually stops me from suffering with one symptom and that's my anxiety.

Please help guys I need to feel positive again I'm just so lost 

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey Hun 

    I'm 36 I've had fibromyalgia for three years to be honest I no how you feel as my husband is the same going on bout sex !!!! I understand how frustrating it can be as I used to be sex mad before this condition plus I've had a hysterectomy wfich doesn't help. I am quite a lot of meds pregabalin amatriptolin zapain tramadol and oramorph if it wasn't for these then I doubt I would be alive today I do  have three children and I do work full time so life is a struggle to be honest I also have lots of low iron b12 folate and vid d which doesn't help 

    Have you had blood texts recently?

    Big soft hugs xxx

    • Posted

      Hi Sadie, thanks for your reply. It's good to hear from someone that is around the same age as me. Yeah Iv had bloods and all kinds of tests everything is clear. It's so frustrating I think I would rather if I had something come up on the bloods. I would feel better and not feel like it's all in my head. 

      I am glad to know you work full time least I have some hope. I would hate to work part time or even give up work. That would kill me altogether. 

      I am getting progressively worse as the years go around so it has even crossed my mind that I will be disabled eventually. When I'm good I have pain but nothing compares to a flare up mainly due to stress. 

      How do you deal with stress? I love going for walks or sitting outside chilling out. The weather is starting to get cold so I know I'll be depressed as well in a lot of pain because I have no escape. 

      So hard to be young but feel like a 90yr old. My body doesn't want to fulfil my desires so right now I'm not having a meaningful life. I'm sick of been flipping sick.

      What do you work at? Maybe after awhile I'll have to get something not as stressful because I know stress is a massive trigger for me.

      Hard to believe I worked so hard in college for this and now that could be taking away from me. One of many things to come I suppose.

      So sorry for banging on in a negative way I'm just so worn down and I need someone to listen and truely understand.

      A fibromyalgia group would be a brilliant idea in our areas least we have support we need to stay positive.

      Gentle hugs 🤗  

    • Posted

      Hey Hun 

      I'm a finance manager so deal with lots of stress not to mention the three kids ! Lol 😆 I've just learnt to deal with it day by day Hun that's the only thing you can do so enjoy the good days and just get through the bad . I've just moved to the isle Of Wight for a new more slower pace of life to reduce my stress levels it is working last night though had a bad one with restless legs and terrible joint pain but we just have to push through I do hate the cold as it absolutely kills me the pain is terrible 

      Where do you live ? 

      Sadie xx

    • Posted

      Hi Sadie, 

      I live in Ireland i used to live in town and last sept I moved to the country side it's very peaceful here, and I suppose it does help me relax, Because I can have time out going for walks or sitting outside I find that very therapeutic. 

      The weather is starting to get cold now so I need to find something else for stress relief. 

      Sometimes I sleep for 24hrs (no joke) and other times I can't sleep at all. 

      I slept last night for 10hrs and I woke up in serious pain all over and I'm still fricken tired. 

      I find it hard with one child, I definitely look up to you fair play to you xx 

  • Posted

    Hi Victoria. I am 43 and have had fibromyalgia for about 5 years. I had lost my sex drive not only was I in pain but just wasn't as in to it. I started taking Sam e. Now you can't take this with Xanax. You would need to speak to your doctor. Sam e is a supplement rhat can help regulate your mood. It also helped my sex drive come back.

    As for the pain, epsom salt and baking soda baths have helped along with other supplements. But changing my diet was one of the best pain relievers. Staying away from inflammatory foods help lower inflammation in my body. Now I had a really stressful summer family wise. Had a sudden death and had to admit another relative to assisted living after being hospitalized for 2 months. I went off my diet and just ate out for convenience and put on 20 lbs. With the weight and stress came more pain.

    I am starting a new job and I'm anxious. I haven't told them of my condition and hope I can physically handle it. It's hard starting over at my age but I have come to realize that making a fraction of my salary and being happy is better than making a fortune and being miserable. You are still in your 30s. You may not have to change careers but maybe something in the same field that isn't as stressful.

    I know how hard I had to work to get where I was and my body just couldn't handle the stress anymore. Hoping that my new job will work out and wishing you the best.

    • Posted

      Hi Kiki, 

      Tell me more about Sam e? What dose are you on? Why can't you combine it with xanax? My anxiety is so bad I can't see my life without it. I need it to work, visit family, more or less when I come in to contact with people I need it. 

      Do Sam e help with your anxiety? My husband really needs his sexy wife back but she just doesn't exist anymore. We only got married this year after 15yrs together. I don't want him thinking it's going to be like this forever. 

      I need to find something that gives me a relief from my symptoms and give me back my sex drive. 

      What pain relief are you on? I'm desperate at this stage. 

  • Posted

    Thanks for the well wishes.

    Sam e is a supplement that helps regulate your mood and is also supposed to help with joint pain. I can't say that it has helped with the pain but it has helped with my anxiety and I am in a better mood. I used to find that I would get cranky and lash out at times when I was in pain. I started on a small does of 200 and have worked my way up to 800. I think you can go as high as 1200. It can't be taken with any type of antidepressants as you will have an interaction.

    I didn't feel like myself on antidepressants and had trouble taking pain meds due to side effects. I had to do a natural approach. I changed my diet by eliminating caffeine, sugar, carbs, night shade vegetables, processed foods. As all of these things cause inflammation. Along with vitamin D and B I also gained energy.

    I take probiotics and digestive enzymes to also help with my stomach issues.

    I take tumeric, fish oil omega 3, Co Q10 to reduce inflinflammation. Magnesium helps with restless leg and muscle stiffness. Also take Epsom salt and baking soda baths to help elevate muscle stiffness. For really bad days I use either salon pas with lidocaine patched or biofreeze. Neither smell nice but do the trick.(not so sexy)

    I understand you want to be his sexy wife again. Just because this works for me it may not work for you. You need to speak to your doctor and see. Some of the meds had dried me out like a prune so I was excited that within a few weeks I wasn't and had the urge again. If it's the pain that's keeping you from being with him try something like changing your diet first ( pineapple is a great inflammatory fruit) and taking a soothing epsom salt bath to relax your muscles before hand or maybe have him give you a massage with magnesium oil. Spray lavender in your bedroom to relax you so you're not anxious. Take it slow and see if you can do things together. And talk to your doctor to see if anything else can help. Sometimes they may need to just switch or adjust meds. Hope this helps.

  • Posted

    So I did some research for you. You actually can take sam e with Xanax but needs to be monitored by physician. It should be taken as a low dose, even lower than recommended on box to see how a person reacts. 50 -100mg. It is used to help people who suffer from depression, fibromyalgia and joint pain. It can raise levels of several brain chemicals such as norepinephrine, dopamine , serotonin and others. It can raise your adrenaline giving you energy. Too high of a dose can cause anxiety or insomnia. I haven't experienced this. I take it in the morning with breakfast and it helps wake me up. And it has helped me with my mood and sex drive. I haven't had any side effects like I did on prescription meds (they caused anxiety, shaking and light sensitivity) but each person is different. Some people experience anxiety, insomnia or stomach upset with Sam e. Can't hurt to talk to your doctor and see if it can help.

    • Posted

      Yes I will talk to my doctor. I'm sensitive to most meds so it's very difficult for me to find something that does work. 

      If I got my energy levels back I'd be able to deal with pain more. 

      I am awake half the night and I got up this morning and I'm sore all over. Pee'd off now because I'm meant to be going to the national ploughing championship and you have to walk miles 😭 

  • Posted

    By taking the Epsom salt baths and switching my magnesium and ibuprofen intake to bedtime it helped me sleep. Still have some nights where the pain is bad and it keeps me awake or wakes me. That's when I use biofreeze or salon pas pads with lidocaine.

    I do yoga stretches in the morning to help alleviate any stiffness before I take the same email and Vitamin B( these should be combined as to not allow a build up in the system) but can wake you up like having a cup of coffee.

    Hope you get to go to your competition and you can walk that far.

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