Stress at work and pregnant.

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Hi, I'm new to this just wanted some advice.

I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant, I've been working in my curent job for 13 months and not enjoyed it for a long time.

I work in a care home as a cleaner which in itself is a very demanding stressful job doing a 2 man job as we are understaffed and have been since I started.

At first I enjoyed it but as months passed I've heard members of my team speaking about me behind my back which has made it very difficult for me to work with them. I've caught them on 3 different occasions but let it pass as I didn't want to cause any more stress than the job actually was (I get on with it and go home).

In the first few months I also felt like my manager was targeting me... watching my every move and pulling me up about anything and everything which made me dislike the job even more.

My relationship with my best friend has recently broken down and she also works within the care home. She has recently gone behind my back to my manager about a matter and it's all getting to me now.

Due to the stress and the situations at work I have come home on numerous occasions crying to my partner and snapping at him and my 6 year old daughter which I hate!! I go to bed stressed and wake up stressed with work still on my mind. My home life has changed and all that is on my mind is the dread of going to work. I'm not as happy as I used to be and I'm worried it's effecting my baby's health.

I've recently had 5 weeks off work (3 weeks on sick due to pregnancy) and 2 week holidays. I'm due back tomorrow and I'm absolutely dreading and fearing it. My oh has just rung me and I broke down crying to him. I feel like handing my notice in but I feel trapped. I've tried to put the gossiping behind me but knowing I have to go and face these people is getting too much for me to handle. All I am doing is crying and I can't cope with it anymore. The 5 weeks I've had off all that has been on my mind is the thought of returning to work and it's really getting me down.

I need some advice as to what to do I'm going out of my mind :'(

Any help would be much appreciated.

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Flossy.

    Have you considered looking for other employment? Are you able to do that. I hope your partner is a good support system. Do breathing exercises this should help you . There are  good apps you can use. Try talking to your physician about your situation and see if he can put you off for the rest of the prganancy... I would definitely seek help

    from a professional to help you. Please take care of yourself, your baby and family💞People like that are not worth going through this! 

  • Posted

    Hi I wouldjust go back towork and try to shut these peopleout of yourmind. They sound verysmall minded and petty and not worth wasting your energy or time thinking or worrying about them. I would look aroundfor another job but to b honest it is not going to be easy to find one due to your preganancy. UYou did not say how long you intnd working for. I know you have to weigh up your entitlement to maternity pay etc but \I would speak to awelfare rights officer and also to your midwife about this and get it documented. Bullying and harassment at work is very serious and needs addressing.

    Take care and congrats on your pregnancy. xxx

    • Posted

      Hi Icecool,

      So right! These people are not worth the stress! I have dealt with that years ago at a job I was at for 10 years! I'm so happy I'm out of there! Everyone take care💞

  • Posted

    Thanks for your replies..

    I did considered looking for other employment before I found out I was pregnant but then decided to stick it out as I would get maternity pay. My oh is brilliant and has been my rock through it all. I have tried in the past to block them out these incidents have been going on well before I found out I was pregnant but I did my back to work the day before yesterday and found out about the backstabbing and it just topped it off. Im angry, frustrated and all around very emotional. I will be able to start my maternity leave mid December so a while to go yet.. I'm trying to stick it out but the thought of going back and facing these people is just too much. It's a large care home and everyone talks to each other as as daft as it sounds I feel like everyone is talking behind my back. I don't feel as though I can talk to the home manager as she has never been one I feel I can talk to. Usually walks past me without speaking so I don't feel comfortable opening up to her.

    My family are telling me I need to put mine and baby's intrests first and I understand that. I'm not having a happy pregnancy due to this stress and worry.

    Thanks again for your replies xx

  • Posted

    I can see your family

    s point of view but it is up to you to decide what to do. how long do you intend to work for prior to having the baby and then  how long do you have to work for after the birth of the baby so as not to lose out financially?

    Do you work full time?

  • Posted


    During Pregnancy you will be suffering many mixed feelings including hormonal changes, you will have a great deal on your mind and that shows with your Sick Leave due to early stages of pregnancy. You have also been on holiday for two weeks and I can really feel for you as you are returning back to work after that extended period of being away from some nasty tittle tattle. You are now mid term.You will need to go on Maternity Leave in the near future, so I look on the situation that you could either grit your Teeth for a few more months.

    You could resign if the work is so onerous, or make an appointment to talk again with your GP and explain your fears, concerns and what all these problems are having on your Unborn Child.

    Personally i would attend tomorrow and see how things go, if it is bad, talk to your GP and explain your concerns. If you need to chat and gain some encouragement we are here for you. Whatever you decide run with your decision and be comfortable with your future considerations


  • Posted

    Hi Flossy 

    I empathise with you. I would just go back tomorrow with an open mind. If things get problematic u can choose whether to go back in the following day or sign off on sick leave. The home does not sound a nice place anyway if they are understaffed etc. The manager sounds uncaring and out of her depth and unable to manage or to keep staff. That is their problem so take some solace in that thought.

    Treat it as a first day at work and let these nasty people get on with it.

  • Posted

    I've just spoken with my oh and he says hes happy with whatever decision I make. Ive told him I'll go in tomorrow and see how it goes. I've cried again since to my sister in law. It's just an awful feeling knowing I've got to go back. I would be much happier if I never had to see the place again but I'm not sure that would be the right thing to do.. I'm going to go and see my GP tomorrow when I finish and see what he says as I am worried about all of this and what effects it's having on baby. Without all the hormones Id be able to handle it but it's just taking over my mind 24/7. It's all I think about and how much it's getting me down. Someone who I thought I could trust with everything has now gone behind my back and reported to my manager (we have different management) who she knew about how I felt about my manager before this. Her family work within the home also! Just feel like Ive got nowhere to turn and I'm stuck there because I'm pregnant. Yes they don't keep staff for long and are always understaffed.

    Thanks for your advice I'll go in tomorrow and see how it is :-(.

    • Posted

      You do not need 'friends workmates like that'. This has happened to me as well but the person who was causing trouble had a reputation for doing the same elsewhere!

      If you have to confront the person who betrayed your trust tomorrow I would be verypolite with her, donot cofide in her, do not make any references to anthing at all. Just focus on the job in hand and if she asks you any questions or appears to empathise just to fish for information I would simply side track her line of questioning. The thing to do with people like this is to deprive them of any information BUT do it very calmly and extremely politely.

      I would be friendly with at the same time do not give any information as they are not entitled to any. Keep yourself to yourself but still remain friendly if u see what I mean. These people are very mean indeed.


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